Yesterday was father’s day and I have to be honest, I really think a room full of newborns, 3 hyper golden retriever and making spaghetti from scratch would have been less exhausting then the time I had with my dad. The most frustrating thing about my dad is that I love who he is. He is super intelligent, witty and always causing a hilarious scene wherever we go. My mom says he’s pretty much ruined me for finding men interesting. Possibly true. Yet, he still has me teetering between the paved road and the edge of a scenic view when I am with him. I’m telling you his choice of conversation as appealing as a litter box. Part of our conversation yesterday went like this….

Dad: Did you hear about those 3 little girls who got killed on the 405 fwy? Or the Muslim man who killed the Hindu?

Me: Nope. Did you hear that I am going to be an Aunt again?

Dad: You’re changing the subject.

Me: Honestly dad, I don’t like to talk about negative things.

Dad: (He pauses with his coffee cup half way between the table and his lips.) You are a sweet girl, but this is a very cruel world. There are children in this country with nothing to eat. Others are working in brothels. I know all about it. I don’t want you to act like an ostrich with its head in the sand.

Me: Dad, there are also positive things going on in the world to be discussed.

Dad: Tell me one positive thing going on in the world?

Me: How about the missionary workers in India who have developed an organization called the International Princess Project to help girls get our of brothels and take care of themselves?

Dad: There is enough work to be done in America. They should look around their own country.

Yada, yada…so instead of continuing to bore you with a conversation that quite possibly might have given me premature gray hair I’ll give you my conclusion. My dad and I express love in different ways. His idea of love is warning me from the danger by having conversations about our deteriorating world. His parents probably did the same with him. He is a Quality Time person; he feels love when he spends Quality Time with people. His idea of quality time is current events which include murders, tragic deaths and conspiracies. My idea of love is being positive and encouraging people. When I am talking about the world I want to discuss the positive work being done. If I’m going to talk about something negative it’s for the purpose of fixing it. I am a Words of Affirmation person. I feel loved when I am affirmed and encouraged. Obviously I like to be positive and encourage. I found this information from the book “The 5 love languages.” You can find out what kind of person you are at this website: www.fivelovelanguages.com F.Y.I. Just because I know what kind of person my dad is doesn’t mean that we are singing “It’s a small world” together. He still drives me crazy. So I limit the time we spend together. Yet, taking the steps to better understand him has replaced my frustration towards him with empathy. Did you take the test? Which one are you?