I am  a chick in the Dog House right now at the school where I teach art, one of my 3 jobs. Now, I’ve been in “Dog time-out” and the “Doggy grass area” but today I am officially in the Dog “House”. As in I don’t even want to sit in the Dog grassy area cause someone might see me. I’d rather be in the Dog House where I can hide from view.

You see today I was very kindly and respectfully told the following:

1.) The word “fornication” is a little too much to use with 8 year olds.

2.) When disciplining a kid it isn’t right to make them feel better by saying, “Just don’t let me catch you smoking a cigarette or throwing down a 40″

3.) We love what you did with your staff T-shirt, but that isn’t what were going for.

4.) Do you have any questions?

My reply. Stick my hands in my hoodie pockets and shake my head, “nope” and “I’m sorry” and walk out of the office. Yikes! I felt nauseous. If someone was eavesdropping on that conversation they would think I was some hoochie raised in the dirty south.(For your 411 I am neither ) and for the record this is the shirt I was wearing and I don’t see a midrift, but i get it, too much skin.

Anyways, I know I am very outgoing, outspoken and creative individual. These attributes are why they hired me in the first place. I’m confident that who I am is a well rounded individual and a good influence on my students, but even good people can cross the line sometimes and others a little more frequently. Obviously I am teetering on the frequently side.

This game of teeter totter has brought me to a very difficult question I need to ask myself. “When does it stop being acceptable to be an Obnoxious girl and necessary to be a Classy Woman?” I mean I’m gonna be 27 in less than a month and though my flamboyant and boisterous personality has served me well between the ages of 13 and 26 it seems as if it might not fly in 27 territory.

I don’t tread on this subject with much ease. I actually almost didn’t even blog about it here because it is something that is a sensitive subject for me. And (dare I say) “Becoming a woman” doesn’t seem to be a happy subject among teens or 20 somethings either. As my adorable sponsee said the other night. “Ewwww! I consider the word woman a cuss word. It’s gross. It involves panty hose and girdles and ewww! I’d rather be called an ‘adult’ over a woman any day” And I can’t say I haven’t thought the same things.

Over the past few years I have resisted any resemblance to woman hood. Whether it be painting my room hot pink and not a mauve pink because I want to have a color that reminds me of youth and in your face or going out, partying and dressing to be seen. The funny thing is I discovered that the hot pink color in my room wasn’t too feng shui with my energy and I had a hard time sleeping in my room or getting any writing done for that matter. Partying left me tired, late for work and depressed. In my own time I have discovered that what I cling to isn’t necessarily what I need or even want.

So how does paint and partying have anything to do with my language at work. Well, I guess it kind of has to do with the fact that I’m going to be trying to actually think before I speak. I reckon many friends and family will disagree and say, “You’re fine just the way you are. Screw them!” But I think if I was really true to myself (which I think is what people like about my non-filtered mouth) I would take the hint from the universe to evolve into the better me. The “woman” me.

 Theres a really beautiful part of the bible that I have always loved, it’s Proverbs 31. It gives reference to the kind of woman a man should marry. Isn’t it funny that even in biblical times people got married and had kids at age 13, but still they referred to them as a “women”. I think its because being a woman isn’t necessarily about your age. It’s about your state of mind. I want to have the state of mind of someone with integrity, kindness, tact and class. I want to be a good woman.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and upon her tongue is the law of kindness.  – Proverbs 21:26